A Ex-Killer's Lament
by KurobaKaito30
Summary: L lives. In this fic, Light is punished differently for his crimes. Also he is self-harming. Light and L couple. If you like it cool, if not that's fine too. I am useing a computer that kind of sucks so try not to worry about the typeing errors.
1. Chapter 1

Notes=Light and L couple; Light has depression and is self-harming due to his owning a death note. He thinks Ryuzaki is dead and has fallen for the detective but that isn't the case. Light has been cutting and is close to suicide and now has shinigami eyes in this.

Chapter 1=A Change in The Old Kira

Light P.O.V

It has been awhile since he's been gone. Near and I tried being together on and off. It lasted for about a few weeks. Near was ok but I saw him as a older brother. "Gomensai, Nate. I kind of see you as a Nee-san more and I..." I apologized. He hugged me gently. "It's fine. You're like a little outou to me too, Light. Lately I have been likeing Mello quite a bit. Thanks for trying though." he had said.

"Thanks for helping me too." I said. Near, Matt and Mello had lessened my punishment as Kira. They made it so if I helped Wammy detectives find other Kiras I would be in the clear as a Kira. "No problem besides you're no longer a danger to any of the public now and went through your therapy." he said.

I nodded. I had been thrown out of home by my family and now lived with Nate and Mihael. I had shinigami eyes for over a year and a half. I had tried to kill myself when I got them but it was a failure. "Come on. Mello is cooking dinner and I think it's your favorite tonight." Near said. I nodded an ok.

-A Few Days Later-

Light P.O.V

I slashed into my wrist a 5th time. I knew no one would ask or care at HQ because I was now scum to them. Well Matsuda forgave me and was kind of like a father to me now lately. He was now dateing Misa. I opened the bathroom door to see Matsuda chatting with..."Glad to see you back Ryuzaki. We were worried about you." he said. So he was alive. Well I suspected it but didn't go looking into it.

"Light! Ryuzaki is back! Comere!" Matsuda cried out. I doubt that I was forgiven by him. I sighed approaching Matsuda though. My eyes flashed red seeing Ryuzaki's real name.

I shrugged, no longer careing about my old life as Kira. Once upon a time I may have cheered over knowing his name but now...it didn't matter to me and I doubt he cared much for me. "It's good to see you back again." I said with a smile and headed back to go work. I couldn't stay near him. It was my fault he was gone for so long to began with. I gripped my wrist wanting to cut again.

Ryuzaki P.O.V

I watched Light. "Has Light changed much at all?" I asked Matsuda. "Well you know he was caught and Near and your successors lessened his punishment. But Light has had shinigami eyes for over a year or so. Don't know how he got them or when. Learned you had to trade half your life span from Misa when I married her. However I am glad she's still around. As for any changes with Light, he was kicked out his home by his family and Near and Mello have

been looking after him." Matsuda explained. "Thanks for the update, Matsuda." I said. "Ryuzaki, Light has been through a lot. He decided honesty was better than what he had before but now he deals with this." Matsuda told me. I noted Light was rubbing his arms, a sign of being a self-harmer.

I had a few cutters in some cases of mine and had studied a bit about Kiras. The notebook's effects would most likely cause self-harm if he became depressed. I decided to have a talk with Light.

Light P.O.V

I sighed decideing to cut again and was about to go back to the bathroom when..."Light-kun, could I have a word with you?" Ryuzaki asked me. I sighed at this but followed him to a quiter room. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2=Now Room Mates

Light P.O.V

"Actually I wanted a word with you too. Ryuzaki, I am sorry for what I did to make you go." I apologized. He sighed. "I was heading out anyways. We barely knew anything on the notebooks and I could learn more in England. The fault isn't yours Light but in the notebook you own." he said. "Oh. Well was there something you wanted to talk about?" I asked. "Yes. Please take your jacket off. I want to look at something for a moment." he said. I paused. He didn't knowtice did he?

I sighed at this but then again I had decided to be more honest and have a more quite life now. I took my jacket off and watched him carefully.

He was examing the cuts and then spoke. "I'll talk to Near. You're going to live with me from now on." he said.

-Later-

Ryuzaki P.O.V

I showed him around the apartment and showed him where everything was. "We share the same bedroom. It's so you won't try to cut or try to kill yourself." I explained.

"I know why." he said. I sighed and watched him. "Want to watch some movies on Netflix?" A good crime movie that you had to guess the end should be a good one for me and Light. Near the end Light fell asleep with his head on my shoulder.

I smiled and gently carried him to bed.

-The Next Day-

Light P.O.V

I woke up early so I went downstaires and began cooking breakfast. I made eggs, bacon, toast and coffee. I began to hum superman by taylor swift as I cooked. I heard footsteps and then "Didn't know you liked that song and you're a good dancer by the way." Ryuzaki said.

I blushed a bright red at this as I handed him his plate. He smiled guideing me to the table so that I would eat also. I barely ate now due to everything that has happened to me.

"Thanks Light but you should eat too." he said. "Oh! I'm not..." I began but he shoved some eggs into my mouth. "I insist." he said pulling me onto his lap. I turned a bright red at this as he began to feed me.

Soon breakfast was done.

Ryuzaki P.O.V

I smirked. Embarrassing Light! I will never get done with doing that. I smiled at how adorable he looked all flustered and red. I had to embarrass him more often. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3=Good With Kids

Light P.O.V

For weeks I had lived with Ryuzaki and he found ways to embarrass me or get me all flustered. I finally asked "Why do you want me embarrassed?" He smiled. "Because you're cute at the time." he answered. I turned red at this but smiled at the thought. L thought I was cute...even after everything I did. We were both getting ready for work. I still loved him but had never told him thinking he would never care after what I did.

We got to HQ and I got to work helping out anyone who needed it with knowing more on Kiras. Today it was Matsuda.

Matsuda hummed thoughtfully as we watched a 16 year old who had the eyes like me. "Was most likely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shinigami usually just drop their belongings out of boredom." I said. "Poor kid. Well we could give him another chance." Matsuda said. "He needs to know what he did still." Misa said. She helped out too. It had to be weird at times since her and Matsuda were a couple. "Will lay down the punishments he will have to face in front of him." I said. "But I need L's help." Ryuzaki got up at this.

Ryuzaki P.O.V

We entered the kid's cell. "Hi. Heard you picked something up." Light told the kid. His name was Hiro Wakano on his files and he killed his whole family but his father beats him so I had no idea if I should put it down as self-defense or not. "I found a killer notebook, not that any of you guys would beleive me." snorted Hiro. Light sat down and pulled out his death note. "You mean one like this. You know when I was a senior a death god dropped one in front of my school." he said. "What happened then?" he asked. "I began to help detectives. Hiro-san, you can either go to juvinile hall and stay there for 10 years and maybe get killed there by an even worse criminal or...help out with me and another

person who is just like you. It's your choice." Light suggested. I smiled. He's good with kids. He would be a good mom some day. Hiro watched quitely and then spoke.

"I want to help out...if I can." he said. "You can. What I read it looks like self-defense and I can find a pretty good lawyer for your case." I said smileing. "I was one of the detectives that helped Light out." Hiro smiled at this and pulled me into a hug. When we got out Light smiled. "You should consider being a parent Lawliet." he whispered so only I heard. "Speak for yourself, mommy dearest." I laughed.

-A Couple of Days Later-

Light P.O.V

I sighed at this. It really hurt seeing him again every day and liveing with him. I snuck around corners as much as possible to cut now a days. Misa knew how that felt haveing used to self-harm herself but was now happy with Matsuda. "Try confessing to him, Light. You never know. You know I have never seen him smile unless he's around you. It's why I let him have my cakes on our fake dates to begin with."

Misa said. We decided to call those our "Hang-out days" now since we both liked someone else. I chuckled. "I bet he likes Matt or some girl, Misa." I said.

"No. Matt is already with someone. He's been dateing him for over a year." Misa said. "Gave them tickets to my show even." I now was curious on who Ryuzaki's was. It was close to Valentines Day and it could be anyone."Doesn't hurt to ask I guess." I said.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3=Valentines Day Confessions

Light P.O.V

It was 3 days before Valentines day and I found him. "Ryuzaki, do you have a special someone? Can help you. I'm good at cooking and..." I began. "Yes but the most I want for Valentines day is one of your special dinners and your chocolate strawberry cheesecake, Light-kun." he said, takeing a sip of his coffee as he worked away at his lab top. We were looking over Hiro's files so he wouldn't be put in jail or worse.

I didn't want to think about what almost happened to me. "You were almost given the death penalty but I told them I would fucking kill them if they hurt you in any way." he said.

"I thought it was just Near who helped me." I said. "It was Near, Matt, Mello and myself. It took all us Wammy boys." Ryuzaki said. "Arigato Ryuzaki." I said. "That means a lot."

-A Day Later-

Ryuzaki P.O.V

"Told him what I wanted but he looked confused." I said. "L, Light thinks you don't care for him. He went through a lot and was thrown out and mistreated at home. It will take a lot." Near told me. I sighed and decided to show my Kira that it was HIM I wanted for Valentines day and no one else!

I got home and found Light makeing the special cake that I wanted. I chuckled. Frosting was on his cheek and he looked down-right fuckable at the moment. It was obvious Light was a virgin at times.

I wrapped my arms around him and trailed kisses along his neck. "What are you doing?" he asked. "What does it feel like?" I asked. He sighed. "It feels nice." he said. I hummed pinching and grabeing his rear and other places and licking here and there. He cried out in pleasure as I pulled down his pants and licked my fingers and began to prepare him.

"Light-kun this may hurt at first and I am sorry." I said and pushed one finger in first and then anouther scissoring him open. He gasped and cried out in pleasure and I opened him up a bit. Then I positioned myself.

"I really really love you Light. Do you love me?" I asked. "Yes. I have for a long time." he said watching me. I captured his lips in a soft kiss and shoved myself gently into him and went slowly so I wouldn't hurt him. I would never hurt my Light-kun ever. I gently played with his hair as we fucked one another.

Soon he came. He curled up into my cheast. "Ryuzaki, can I stay with you?" he asked. "Yes." I answered. "Happy Valentines Day, Light-kun." 


End file.
